Yesterday at The Journey the pastor talked about this thing called 'kingdom life.' Kingdom life is basically living out the reality that the kingdom of God is not only a future promise but a present thing. Jesus says in Matthew 6:33, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness..." This is not a command to sit back and wait for a "by and by" Heaven. It is a command to seek the kingdom in this life. To live out the ways of Jesus in this life.
This concept was not a new one to me when I heard it yesterday. From the first day I moved to Seattle, my supervisor has been talking about kingdom life and what that really looks like. I guess that the full weight of the concept finally hit my yesterday. How is what I'm doing on a day to day basis contributing to the kingdom of God?
That thought process led to my questioning of what I'm supposed to do with this life that I have been given. I thought that I had a pretty good idea of what my life is supposed to be, but now the only thing that I'm sure of is that I have no clue at all. God has a funny way of pulling my own hopes and dreams out from under me and telling me to go a different direction. We've had fights about this. I haven't won one yet.
I guess this was all to say that I don't know what life is supposed to look like anymore. I think that's where God wants me for the moment. It's a frustrating place to be. It's one of emotional pain, but also a place where great victory is possible.
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