I haven't had a word of the day in a long time, but today I do. It's 'Frustrated'.
I know that I'm smart and have earned a place here. I know that sounds somewhat conceited, but that's what I have to keep telling myself. For example, today I was sitting in a class talking about Biblical interpretation and the future of the church. I felt like I had something to add to the conversation but I never spoke up. Why? Part of it is just that I'm shy and constantly underestimate myself. But today it was because I feel like a light-weight around here. I don't know the local buzz words or the Greek language. My mind doesn't work as fast as others and by the time I have something to add the moment has passed by. I want to have good conversations but it's been hard for me to do that in a class setting. (For Rach...it's kinda like sitting in Mrs. B's class trying desperately to earn conversation points only to be drowned out by that girl across the room. Not exactly, but it's what comes to mind right now.)
I'm not going to give up and I'm working to change things, but that doesn't negate the fact that today I'm just frustrated.
2 comments:
That's understandable. My first semester at Midwestern I was hesitant to speak up mainly because I was trying to figure out the lay of the land. The longer I've been here I've spoken up more.
I find that in some classes/profs it's easier to do that with than in others. I'm sure that's the case down there too. I think you'll find your comfort zone there and will be able to contribute with your insight.
I know that feeling too well. But remember...we still got A's in AP!!
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