Last Friday, I decided to try out a new class at the local YMCA called Latin Aerobics. It had the potential to be lots of fun even though I have all the moves of the Baptist white girl that I am. What can I say? I was feeling adventurous.
The class was supposed to start at 6:30am. (Yes, I can get up that early on my own if I feel the need.) When my friend and I got there, only the 20-something instuctor was there. We had a nice chat with her and then got up to start the workout. About two seconds before the girl turned on the Latin workout music, about eight older ladies (in their 70s-90s, no kidding) came into the room. Apparently, these ladies go to the 6:30 workout class every morning no matter what the workout is. They spread out around us as the workout began.
About five minutes into the workout, one of the ladies who was probably in her mid-70s tapped my friend on the shoulder and very firmly suggested that we move to another part of the room (aka. out of her space). We moved and the workout went on.
At the end of class, we did some core exercises on the floor with mats. When the class was over, we went and stacked the mats back where we got them. As I turned around, the same lady gave me a dirty look and told me to clean my mat. My mom says that I took this too hard, but I seriously felt like I had just made my grandmother mad.
So, I've been thinking about this for the past few days. I think that my latin aerobics experience is what it's like for some people to go to church for the first time. The pastor (aerobics instructor) is really nice and welcoming. He/she wants everyone to get involved. The people themselves often lack something to be desired though. They get into their own personal routines and refuse to break out for other people. They point out flaws in the spirit of judgment instead of the spirit of love. They make newcomers not want to come back until they feel like they're perfect themselves.
Just thinking...
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Monday, February 4, 2008
Happiness
My word of the day is 'happy.' This morning I woke up, folded some laundry, and got ready for my day. After getting ready, I felt this strange sensation that I couldn't place. Then, I realized that I was humming (a habit I picked up from my grandpa). This was a sure sign that my strange sensation was indeed some level of happiness.
Sure, I'm generally content with life. Lately, though, I've had a lot of days filled with frustration, sadness, and just general anxiety. It's a relief to feel truly happy with life even though the sky is cloudy and it's cold outside. Inside, I feel like it's the first day of spring and that vacation is right around the corner :)
Sure, I'm generally content with life. Lately, though, I've had a lot of days filled with frustration, sadness, and just general anxiety. It's a relief to feel truly happy with life even though the sky is cloudy and it's cold outside. Inside, I feel like it's the first day of spring and that vacation is right around the corner :)
Sunday, February 3, 2008
"Careful Not to Draw Your Maps in Pen and Ink"
I may alone in this, but I think that God is giving lyrics to musicans so that I can have my very own life soundtrack. When I first became a Christian, the song was "Worlds Apart" by Jars of Clay. When I found out that I couldn't go to my first choice college, the song was "Forward Motion" by Relient K. When I got my heart broken into a million pieces in college, BarlowGirl came out with "Porcelain Heart." Then, when I started asking some hard spiritual questions after moving to Seattle, the song was "Fade Away" by the OC Supertones.
So, lately I've been listening to "The Cobalt Season." (Awesome band, check them out on iTunes.) They have given me the new song for this season in my life. I've put the lyrics below for you to enjoy...
You are gonna change your mind someday
So just let go of all your thoughts on tomorrow
You may find your bearings in disarray
Though you may lead and trip and fall and follow
And all that you thought black will be proved red
Full of life and complication and sorrow
And all that you thought white was in your head
For life is lived in the shadows that we borrow
And I’ll look far, but may see nothing
And I will thirst, but may not drink
And I will yell to those behind me
“Careful not to draw your maps in pen and ink”
The same road disappears up ahead
Will you ever understand this equation?
The compass in your hand is all but dead
Time to feel your way around this evasion
Read the words again, for you might see
Life where you saw death, a way to your salvation
Best to lay down what you thought was certainty
Freedom’s found in the in that calmed frustration
And I will strain to find a pattern
And hold my breath ’till I’m on the brink
And I will yell to those behind me
“Careful not to draw your maps in pen and ink”
You are gonna change your mind someday
Just let go of all your thoughts
So, lately I've been listening to "The Cobalt Season." (Awesome band, check them out on iTunes.) They have given me the new song for this season in my life. I've put the lyrics below for you to enjoy...
You are gonna change your mind someday
So just let go of all your thoughts on tomorrow
You may find your bearings in disarray
Though you may lead and trip and fall and follow
And all that you thought black will be proved red
Full of life and complication and sorrow
And all that you thought white was in your head
For life is lived in the shadows that we borrow
And I’ll look far, but may see nothing
And I will thirst, but may not drink
And I will yell to those behind me
“Careful not to draw your maps in pen and ink”
The same road disappears up ahead
Will you ever understand this equation?
The compass in your hand is all but dead
Time to feel your way around this evasion
Read the words again, for you might see
Life where you saw death, a way to your salvation
Best to lay down what you thought was certainty
Freedom’s found in the in that calmed frustration
And I will strain to find a pattern
And hold my breath ’till I’m on the brink
And I will yell to those behind me
“Careful not to draw your maps in pen and ink”
You are gonna change your mind someday
Just let go of all your thoughts
Thursday, January 31, 2008
A February Resolution
OK, my New Year's resolutions went down the drain during January. Honestly, today was the second day this month that I have worked out. I'm also ashamed to say that I have gone to bed a couple of nights without even glancing at my Bible. I'm not giving up on these worthy goals but...
...For February I have made the more abtainable goal of not going out to eat. This is a one month experiment to see if it will change the way that I do life on several levels. The first level is the monetary level. Hopefully, by fixing my own food and having leftovers I will save money that I can then put into my savings account. The second level is the nutrition level. By not eatting out, I can better monitor what I eat and make healthier food decisions. The third level is the spiritual level. I find that I slow down both physically and mentally when I cook. It puts me in a good place to pray/think/sing/dance (yes, I occassionally dance to music when I cook).
...For February I have made the more abtainable goal of not going out to eat. This is a one month experiment to see if it will change the way that I do life on several levels. The first level is the monetary level. Hopefully, by fixing my own food and having leftovers I will save money that I can then put into my savings account. The second level is the nutrition level. By not eatting out, I can better monitor what I eat and make healthier food decisions. The third level is the spiritual level. I find that I slow down both physically and mentally when I cook. It puts me in a good place to pray/think/sing/dance (yes, I occassionally dance to music when I cook).
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
PB Messages
For my nostalgic moment of the day, I opened up a new jar of peanut butter and wrote my former roommate a message. Ahh, it's the simple things in life...
Singleness
My word of the day is 'single.' Why is it my word of the day? I recently noticed while mindlessly stalking people on Facebook that everyone, and I mean that in the teenage exageration sense of the word, is engaged/married. This makes it even more apparent to me that I'm single.
If you had talked to me last week about how I feel about singleness, you probably would have had to give me a hug and put up with tears on your shirt. I asked a friend last week if I would ever not be lonely. Her response was "The proper and true answer is that there will be a time when you're not lonely. However, when that times comes, I think that you will still feel it every once in a while, but not as painfully, and definitely not in the way you do now."
For today, at least, I've made my peace with being single. Would I be content with being single for the rest of my life? Absolutely not. Am I going to be depressed about it for the present? With the help of God and wonderful friends, no. Would I go on a date tonight if somebody asked me? You bet!
If you had talked to me last week about how I feel about singleness, you probably would have had to give me a hug and put up with tears on your shirt. I asked a friend last week if I would ever not be lonely. Her response was "The proper and true answer is that there will be a time when you're not lonely. However, when that times comes, I think that you will still feel it every once in a while, but not as painfully, and definitely not in the way you do now."
For today, at least, I've made my peace with being single. Would I be content with being single for the rest of my life? Absolutely not. Am I going to be depressed about it for the present? With the help of God and wonderful friends, no. Would I go on a date tonight if somebody asked me? You bet!
Monday, January 21, 2008
Kingdom Life
Yesterday at The Journey the pastor talked about this thing called 'kingdom life.' Kingdom life is basically living out the reality that the kingdom of God is not only a future promise but a present thing. Jesus says in Matthew 6:33, "But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness..." This is not a command to sit back and wait for a "by and by" Heaven. It is a command to seek the kingdom in this life. To live out the ways of Jesus in this life.
This concept was not a new one to me when I heard it yesterday. From the first day I moved to Seattle, my supervisor has been talking about kingdom life and what that really looks like. I guess that the full weight of the concept finally hit my yesterday. How is what I'm doing on a day to day basis contributing to the kingdom of God?
That thought process led to my questioning of what I'm supposed to do with this life that I have been given. I thought that I had a pretty good idea of what my life is supposed to be, but now the only thing that I'm sure of is that I have no clue at all. God has a funny way of pulling my own hopes and dreams out from under me and telling me to go a different direction. We've had fights about this. I haven't won one yet.
I guess this was all to say that I don't know what life is supposed to look like anymore. I think that's where God wants me for the moment. It's a frustrating place to be. It's one of emotional pain, but also a place where great victory is possible.
This concept was not a new one to me when I heard it yesterday. From the first day I moved to Seattle, my supervisor has been talking about kingdom life and what that really looks like. I guess that the full weight of the concept finally hit my yesterday. How is what I'm doing on a day to day basis contributing to the kingdom of God?
That thought process led to my questioning of what I'm supposed to do with this life that I have been given. I thought that I had a pretty good idea of what my life is supposed to be, but now the only thing that I'm sure of is that I have no clue at all. God has a funny way of pulling my own hopes and dreams out from under me and telling me to go a different direction. We've had fights about this. I haven't won one yet.
I guess this was all to say that I don't know what life is supposed to look like anymore. I think that's where God wants me for the moment. It's a frustrating place to be. It's one of emotional pain, but also a place where great victory is possible.
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